Tom and Pat: Embarrassing Moves

I don't know how to change the main topic of interesting people, so we will leave it there for now.
Tom and I are not what you call slobs but we are also not in the category of the meticulous. As we get ready to move now, there is some excitement in starting again without clutter, dirt...There are also aspects of moving that can haunt us:).
We try to leave wherever we have been or are in the best shape possible. I just shampooed the living room today though I am sure it will need another going over.
Before we left our house in San Bernardino, California, we had a friend of my brother's spray paint the inside of the house(with us following up with the touch up) to give it the best appearance possible. We had to pay someone to tear down a plywood add on to the garage(from previous owners) that had housed some wild cats at one point. Fortunately the new owners didn't mind the big hole in the far back of the yard that used to house an above ground pool. We pulled it out after a county wide fire damaged the liner with debris and we decided it was not real safe for our kids. It also was expensive to maintain.
Anyway, with a friend Jerry Parker from Wichita helping us drive to Wichita, we were on our way. Daniel, about 3 and 1/2 at the time, loved riding with him even though he couldn't yet pronounce his name. When we left Wichita, friends from the church helped us get out. It can be humiliating when people help you clear out your junk drawers, etc. Tom reminded me that one of our other friends from church hauled a load to the dump for us on our way out.
We left quite a load of trash out on the curb for pickup when we moved out of our favorite house in Howards Grove, Wisconsin.
When we left Chilton, Wisconsin after 6 and 1/2 years, we decided to downsize and rented a dumpster - yes right in front of our house. I don't know whether to be proud or embarrassed to say we filled the thing to capacity. I was trying to get everything ready for the (17) people who helped us put our stuff into the rental truck in record time. I put laundry in early in the morning to finish up. I put some new sheets in for my friend Joanie who was coming along. After two hous or so, they were ready to load the dryer and the clothes was still wet. I finished at our neighbor's next door, but realized that I had left the cardboard in with the sheets -from the new package - and it had clogged up the dryer. Meanwhile, other friends came and helped clean the floors, refrigerator, ceiling fans. One friend tried to steam clean the blinds. Oh well. We were out.
Leaving Saginaw, Michigan after only 15 months, we still needed friends to help us move and to get the tub and other things in better shape. You have to let people see the real you in these circumstances somewhat unfortunately. After loading everything possible in the truck and cars, we still had a few things left over - a nice commode and walker we had intended to pass on from one relative to another and a not so great bar stool. Two of the workers, one the pastor, actually seemed to want them, so away we went.
Who knows what will show up this time? It's doubtful we will get out of here without some red-faced moments. Thankfully, all the people who helped are still on friendly terms with us. They know we have issues.
One other thing I have found helpful: I buy cheap toasters. I just throw the old one out rather than let people see how dirty it has gotten.
Well, we will be on our way again in a few weeks. Hopefully, we will still be able to face the people who help us move when we meet again:).

Harry and Nellie Himes: The Cutest Couple (Bar None:))

Harry and Nellie will be married for 68 years on May 27th. We just had apple pie and ice cream with them this afternoon and they are still going strong. Harry is 91 and Nellie is 86. They have children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and great great grandchildren stopping by regularly. Besides apple pie, they serve steak, spaghetti-os, pancakes..whatever the need calls for:). They are often busy with the reunions, wedding and baby showers..and everyone stopped in on Mother's Day of course.
If you plan to have a quiet visit with them, call ahead. They might be shopping, painting, canning, cutting the grass or a variety of other things.
They get along very well. Nellie speaks her mind (a fellow Judge Judy fan:), but is not an argumentative person. She had the spunk to follow Harry to Army bases in Virginia and Illinois (from Pennsylvania) in World War II. In one of these cases, their son Harry Jr. slept in our forefather Patrick Henry's cradle, later restored and placed in his own home/museum?. She lives with one partially operating kidney (somewhere between 12 and 21% operational) because she refused dialysis about 20 years ago. She is cute when she takes Harry, me or anyone by the arm to escort her in a crowded room.
Harry is a true gentleman. You can tell that as soon as you meet him. He has great stories of their early travels to California and about the time they almost bought a farm in my home state of Wisconsin. He, Nellie and the kids built the home they live in when he was working 6 days a week. A couple of weeks ago, he and a man about half his age mowed the church lawn. He still mows his 2 and 1/2 acres and fills up their wood furnace in the winter regularly. Harry takes good care of Nellie and she takes good care of him.
They are more likely to be at church than anyone. Once this past winter, Tom sent them back home from the parking lot because he felt it was unsafe for them to come out. Very few people even attempted it. One of the last to wear a tie regularly on a Sunday morning, he is always kind and respectful. I love his chuckle and sense of humor.
They have been faithful friends and a very big encouragement to us. Everyone who knows them would agree that they are the "cutest couple" they know.

Art and Nora Schreurs: Simply Generous

"The people who influence us most are not those who buttonhole us and talk to us, but those who live their lives like stars in heaven and the lilies of the field, perfectly simply and unaffectedly. Those are the lives that mold us." (My Utmost for His Highest)
Art was part owner of a fairly successful coal business before he retired. You wouldn't have known it by the way he and Nora lived. Their house was clean and functional - sturdy:) - but nothing extravagant. Nora often wore a plain shift and walked regularly to the West Side bakery to pick up day old bread for themselves and a struggling family in the church. She still used a wringer washer in the 80's and prided herself in making her own secret recipe lye soap and she hung out the wash regularly. When Art was in the nursing home, the summer we lived with her, the wasted food was abhorring to her. When we stayed with them, we felt wasteful giving our toddlers baths each night and even hid our Big Boy bucket from our take out order of fish.
You wouldn't have known right away that hey had lost one of their two daughters, her husband and three children in a landslide, while they were serving as missionaries in New Guinea - a heartbreak that stays forever wih any and all parents.
Yet, they continued to have the young people in their home Sunday nights for Bible study. I don't drink tea but I always sipped on a cup when Nora offered one to me. Art always had a twinkle in his eye for Nora and as he shared his Bible maps and wisdom with us.
When I needed to raise $800 for my training time with Campus Crusade, he told me to come over when the time was close. I know he had decided to give me whatever monies were still needed. I had most of it but he made up the rest. When I hadn't received a paycheck yet - and had been asked to cosign on a loan to pay it - I asked for his wisdom. He gave me a check for $100 , calling it a loan that didn't need to be repaid. I learned a lot from that and was actually able to pay him back before I needed to cash it. My parents didn't have much money towards my wedding, which didn't bother me because I knew they didn't have it. He and Nora gave us $100 towards our simple reception. I heard from someone else hat they matched a 1/3 or 2/3's of a building fund, though I never heard that from them.
Nora had a little weathered newspaper clipping tacked up on a bulletn board about how much we could give if we each saved all of our paper clips, rubber bands,... That's how they lived. Their love for God, us and each other were the most valued treasures they gave.

Cute Couples: The Comedian Couple

Tom and I have enjoyed almost 33 years of "wedded bliss' - well not always:), but I thought I'd do a few blogs on couples that have made it longer than we have.
Kenny and Ruth have been married over 40 years. They live in Chilton and are parents of two and grandparents of four. We met them at our church and enjoyed having them in a couples' group we were in. We found out in that group that we all still have things from childhood that bother us. We drew close to one another. Ken was trying to find a way to come along "in our suitcase" when we left Chilton. They visited us here and in Michigan and already have reservations in La Crosse.
Even though Ruth has MS and they have had a variety of family problems that have been overwhelming at times, they pick each other up and keep each other going. Ruth is a very giving person and it is hard for her to say no. Once in awhile, Ken is able to help her to actually do that.
When we were in Bible study together, we had to call "rabbit trails" on Kenny. He is a great storyteller and would often help us get off the subject (usually with laughter:). Ruth will often act amazed about something Kenny is saying, exclaiming: "I never knew that about you!".
One night during our group, Ruth was commenting on the need to get their lawn mowed. She pointed to the person next to her but wasn't paying attention. Finally I asked, "Ruth, why are you saying that Carlos needs to do that?". She replied with astonishment: "Oh no! I thought you were Kenny! I almost put my hands all over you". I laughed until I cried.
When they came to visit us here, it was a more somber time. Ruth's Mother (and my Dad as it turned out) were near death. But when they visited us in Michigan, they kept us hopping with their combined sense of humor for most of the time.

Donna: My Infusion Nurse Friend

When I went for my infusion treatment the other day, I told Donna I might blog about her. She said I could write anything I wished about her.
When I met Donna about 18 months ago, she looked like she had everything together. She dresses and acts professionally and graciously. She loves her patients and her job and it shows. I am sure she treats people with varying degrees of serious health concerns but she keeps a very upbeat attitude. Her husband is a college professor. They have worked hard to attain their goals, needing to be very frugal when they were first married but seem to be at a level of financial freedom now.
As I come in every four weeks, we have developed a friendship. I have told her some of my struggles and joys and she has told me some of hers. We of course are in one of my most hated words, "transition" (again:), and we have talked together through some of that. She has shared some estrangement between family members, which breaks her heart at times. We both shared some upbeat news about our daughters this week - hers going to a prom in a very specially picked and priced gown and mine in a dating relationship which looks promising.
Last month, she was not there. I have been a sub often so I tried not to make her replacement feel bad. I assumed that Donna took a few days off for a little vacation. When I asked her on Tuesday where she had been, she told me of some major upheaval in her family's lives. Her husband has been diagnosed with thyroid cancer, not the worst kind but not the first two types, which can be treated easily. He most likely starts chemo/radiation? next week. Please keep "Terr", her husband in your prayers. As usual, Donna is keeping a hopeful and encouraging attitude for the most part. He is understandably down.
You never know when you meet someone what is really behind the "door" in his or her life... It is easy to assume so much until we really get to know people. We plan to stay in touch when I leave. Maybe she and her husband will be able to visit us sometime.

Kay Dickey: My Pennsylvania Mentor

Just about everywhere I have lived, I have looked up to and tried to emulate in some way, special, more mature women than me. In California, there was Sonny Randolph, an older widow. Tom and I were helping with the senior citizens' group, (who gave us a great baby shower for Daniel), and Sonny was the Sunday school teacher. She knew the Bible and Greek better than most seminary students. In Kansas, Betty Syrell, whose first husband was a pastor, was someone I looked up to. She had worked for GM for 27 years and was remarried to a Native American veteran after her first husband died. They helped us as though we were their children (even though she had seven of her own) and our children as grandchildren. She encouraged me as a teacher and crocheted quilts for all four of us. Once, they insisted on lending us their extra car after we had had a series of mechanical problems with ours and a friend's. We have a cross stitched plaque from them which says something like "In heaven there are many mansions. We hope ours are near yours". We hope so too. Then there is Martha Boese from Saginaw, Michigan. In her 80's, she is still volunteering at the gift shop at the Rescue Mission and available to help many others, including her husband, who is now in a nursing home. We had fun going to a Nancy Drew movie together before we left there.
By the way, at lest one person looks up to me: Kris boll from Chilton, Wisconsin. She says I am the only one who understands her jokes:).
Now to my dear friend Kay who I will sorely miss. I am trying to appreciate this remaining time with her.Even though she has five of her own kids, and two of her grandchildren stay with her and Gerry and their son half of each week, she has made room in her heart and in her time commitments for me.
We talk on the phone mainly, because her husband Gerry has had a debilitating stroke and she can't leave him for more than a few hours at a time. I have heard that she was a very good Sunday school teacher, and was active in other aspects of the church, but for this season of her life, she is by her husband's side. She carries on the main chores of the house inside and out, as well as helping him with his special needs. He often has her trying to do mechanical jobs and other things while her supervises, not her main strength, but she tries. He was able to work hard and do these things faithfully for many years, but now he can't. He maintains a positive attitude and is an encouragement to all of us at our little church.
They have had us over to eat quite a few times and she usually makes her unique onion pie, because she knows I love it. She usually sends an extra for us to eat at home.
Mainly she listens to me. She has guided me to some very helpful books, especially the 10 Red Sea Rules, how God makes a way when it is difficult to understand what is happening. She also gave us a great book for Christmas, which helped Tom understand how his DNA is especially fitted to be a hospital chaplain. Sometimes, she has helped me to settle down when I have been riled up about something. I know she doesn't always agree with every choice I make, but she does not seem judgmental or controlling (something I still need to work on).
I consider a very strong woman and friend. She has also made up for something of a Mother gap (no mothers are perfect as we all know) for me, even though she is not old enough to be my Mother. I am thankful that she will only be a phone call away when we move, but I know it won't be quite the same.

Belle Gill : A Godly Legacy

Grandma Gill was a sweet Christian lady. I set a goal to be more like her when I was in my early 30's or so and one of my best compliments was from my sister Jean. At my Mother's graveside service, she said "You are becoming more like Grandma."
She loved God and had a stack with a Bible, devotionals, etc... next to her sitting chair.She did some of the usual things - taught Sunday School, led some devotionals..attended the Merry Hearts Club at church.
One of the special things she did was to visit and to help the migrant workers. Migrant workers would come up for the season to pick crops. Grandma would collect clean used clothes for them and give them to them saying "God loves you". I went with her once or twice. These people lived in metal shacks and were so thankful for the help. Grandpa Gill, the joker of the two, used to say that everyone thought Grandma was so good, but he said he had to do the heavy hauling, carrying the boxes from the basement. She also stepped out and helped at least one of these men to be treated fairly legally and they corresponded with him for some time.
She loved her only son, George, my Dad. I think she wrote to him every day while he was in the service. She loved us grandchildren too, though we sometimes had to sneak over because there was a rift between her and our Mom. I would ride my bike to the south side of Sheboygan, assured that Grandma would put out a spread for me and that Grandpa would go to buy me some soda (and then tease me about how much ice he could cram into a cup to chill it:)). I would usually leave with a kiss and a dime.
I brought my boyfriends over to meet them. After she met Tom, she said that she thought I would say "yes" to this one. He hadn't asked yet.
Most of all, she always spoke of "trusting God" - how that's what sustained her. We were not of the same denomination and she didn't emphasize that. She was not one who could verbalize the gospel message, but when I became a Christian I knew who was a true one.

Judge Judy: No Partiality

I want to write about the legacy of my godly
Grandmother but thought I would lighten it up first.
Yes, I do consider Judge Judy one of my mentors. Tom doesn't particularly care for her yelling, but I see past that and agree with her that she is a "truth machine". Very seldom do I disagree with her decisions and neither do her litigants.
I turn my phone off most days during her first half hour because I hate to be interrupted by anything. Tom knows not to talk to me during it - oops. When I was in the nursing home recovering from an infection, my younger sister Linda knew I was "still alive and kicking" because I asked her to call back after it was over.
First of all, I like that she seems to have no partiality. Even though she is a short 5"2", she can stare down any person in a three piece suit or drug seller off the streets. Tom used to think she favored women, but she will call anyone an "idiot"..who is not paying child support or lying to her face.
She loves children and often encourages people to give them "the widest sphere of love" possible,and even extends that to deadbeat Moms and Dads (as long as it is a safe environment). She does however encourage parents not to make excuses for their children's malicious or wrong behavior.
She does have the only "attitude" allowed in the court and is very funny.
Not many people get past her.
I would not bring a case before her unless I was 150% sure of winning. And I know she wouldn't care if I was and am one of her biggest fans or not:).

Mom: Always There

When my Mom passed away in September of 2007, each of her kids wrote one comment about her, which I was privileged to read at her funeral. The recurring theme was that she was "always there" for her children and grandchildren and great grandchildren.
Growing up, I didn't always accept her. There was a lot of tension in our house and I sided with my Dad because I didn't understand her and some of her limitations. He later regretted the things he had said to her and I conveyed his sorrow to her the last night of her life, though I don't think she was coherent enough to understand.
I want to speak about her strengths in honor of her near Mother's Day.
We always knew we could come home. I sometimes pictured us down on our luck, with just enough to rent a UHaul and to arrive at her doorstep. We never needed to do that, but other family members did from time to time. If she had $2 left, she would have said "pick up hamburgers or pieces of bakery for yourself and me" and we'd figure out what to do the next day. My parents divorced and I think it surprised all of us how she managed to budget quite well, with some inheritance windfalls here and there, on a very limited income. The kids pitched in to help both our parents in later years, but she managed what she had and shared what she could. She loved seeing her kids and talking to us often.
She showed up for all of our events if possible - every graduation, basketball game, play.. She would save her money for a trip - or would get it for a birthday or Christmas gift - and offer to help with groceries and expenses when she got there if she needed to travel.
She loved to give and receive gifts. She would ask you a month or two ahead of your birthday or Christmas what you wanted. Towards the end, she couldn't afford much, but our Anchor Hocking 13 X 9 glass dish with carrying case (because we go to a lot of potlucks for church) is a nice reminder of her. She appreciated every gift she was given no matter how small or how large. You could not give her a gift early. She would open it right away.
I think I got my comfortableness in talking with people from her. She would converse with people at the bus stop. She was loved by my brothers' friends for her welcoming spirit. She figured anyone she asked for help at the store would be happy to help her.
Sometimes, she could be very funny. Out of the blue, she would make a very unusual but funny comment. She had kind of a whimsical smile, not quite a Mona Lisa, but difficult to understand - like she was thinking about something humorous.
That's a little snapshot of her.

Rosa: One of My Regrets

I want to do at least one more person from our prison ministry. The rest of the week I plan to write about my Mother, Grandmother.. and others who have mentored me in honor of Mother's Day.
I enjoyed the women I met in the prison. They knew they had made mistakes, sometimes the worst being to follow marginal men. They were more willing to talk openly about their lives than the general population of women. Some people might have thought I was foolish when I took recently born Katie (born 30 years ago today:))for some of them to see, but I was not afraid at all.
We were going to visit inmates at the California Correctional Facilities in southern California. At the time, our ministry director and his wife were followers of a Biblical counseling philosophy, which encouraged us to find the sin problem and address it with Scripture. Like teaching philosophies that come and go, it was not all-inclusive and to be fair, their point of view shifted drastically and much more graciously not long after the visit I will refer to. Also, the director's wife, now a widow in her 80's, still corresponds and helps inmates in their faith from her home - a ministry of love.
Anyway, I met with Rosa (I don't remember her real name), a young Hispanic woman, whom I happened to know was very bitter and an admitted homosexual. She told me about her life - how she had to crawl to her Father for a plate of beans, how she had come here to the United States with her "wetback" (her words I think) boyfriend/ husband, how he had been found out and sent back to Mexico while she was with child, and how she had been raped by the desk clerk at the hotel where she was staying. I probably answered her with a Scripture and a prayer.
When I got home, I felt very sad for her and could understand why she would have such a hard time believing in a loving, good, male-imaged God. I certainly would have found that difficult or impossible if I were in her same position.
I wish I had shown her more compassion and love and understanding. I have learned a lot since then. A quick answer doesn't solve almost anything. God's love has been my mainstay. I wish I had shown her more of it.