Mothers and Troubles

If you have ever felt a panic-stricken emotional arrow to your heart regarding one of your children, you know what I am talking about. Some people call it intuition. Some may say it is a God-given alarm system. It also feels like some kind of special biological connection. Given the nature of mothers to be concerned or to worry, it can be a flase alarm at times.
It starts very young. I remember our daughter having cholic or something that caused her to seem to lose her breath at times. It would often end over the noon hour before the doctor was back in his office. There was a time our son fell and had a momentary black out and cut near his eye and we were uncertain what to do. I know mothers, one at least who may be reading this, that had to watch her son endure many operations early in life, which I can't even imagine. Thankfully, he is doing well now.
Then there is the emotional trauma as they are growing up. We watch our children be rejected by friends and there is no reasonable explanation. After all, aren't our kids the greatest? Watching them suffer as friends tease or ignore them is hard to take. When they are little, we can possibly do some intervention, helping kids go through the motions of apologizing and becoming friends again. But when they start hitting the double digit ages in life, we find that trying to help usually backfires at best. We let them know that we are on their team and help them with any part of the problem to which they may have contributed. We offer them our support and encouragement.
As time goes on, we have to let go - at least in theory:) - more and more. We try to hold tight to what we think is best for them while they are under our roof. As Judge Judy says, "we own their very breath until then". But somewhere along the line, for some sooner rather than later, we cannot do anything but wait and pray - and time sometimes seems interminable while we do that.
We love them so much! Why can't we fix their problems? A good quote from a pastor recently: "On our best day, we can maybe control ourselves pretty well" - something like that. But we keep trying. We can't seem to stop ourselves. As a wise, older friend once said: "You neer stop worrying about your kids". Discouraging somewhat but true. Maybe it's because that is part of what love is all about.

I Don't Understan : A Tribute to May Vogel

Mary Vogel is a tall,thin pretty lady in her mid 40's. She is married to an equally handsome tall, thin man named Wayne. They look like a perfectly matched, attractive couple, but neither of them is full of themselves. They have four great, growing kids, who have always been a pleasure to be around.
We had the privilege to work with them in Awana, a children's ministry, in Chilton, Wisconsin. They are consistently friendly, giving, kind and positive people - a joy to be around. Mary truly gives out the "fragrance of Christ". I cannot remember one moment of negativity from her or Wayne. She sent us sweet, supportive cards several times and encouraged us through our much lesser difficulties.
When she was diagnosed with breast cancer, she believed that God wanted her to do a wholistic approach. We have at least one other friend who has done well for years and whose cancer has stayed in remission. Unfortunately, it has hit her with a vengeance and she is fighting for her life and is in insufferable pain. She was in Minnesota for treatment, but has been moved to Sunny Ridge Nursing Home for her likely final days or weeks to be near her family. I do have complete confidence that she will be ushered into the Paradise of God when this battle is over, but it is extremely difficult to understand. I am not a faithful pray-er for anyone but I have been pretty consistent in praying for her and another friend in distress almost daily. Please keep Wayne, Mary and their children in your prayers.

Family Gatherings

Family gatherings are a mixed bag. Everyone is excited to see each other after a year, several months, etc...If it is a time of also celebrating a wedding, birthday, funeral or similar occasion, it takes on an added dimension.
We visit, laugh,eat..or if it is Tom's side of the family, pack lunches and hike.
Our family of seven, four brothers and three sisters, were able to come together for Tom's(early for his 60th) birthday this year - and our nephew Corey's. Ironically, it was also our late Grandpa's birthday and a year since the death of our Dad. A few could only stay for several hours but we all made it.
We enjoyed the pontoon, jet skis paddleboats..laying on the tubes..
The men, those who wanted to in each case, enjoyed card playing and golfing. The women watched a couple of movies and went out to eat.
It was the first time all seven of us were together since one of our parents was alive, so a dimension of home and reunion were missing. Our family has come a long way, but there are still some uncertainties and insecurities among us.
Overall, we enjoyed the beauty of Silver Lake and the hospitality of my sister Linda and brother-in-law Mike. When all was said and done, we went through a lot of great food, bottled water, sodas, toilet paper and towels.

Growing Up

Going to my __th Catholic grade school reunion brought back many memories. Obviously, I can't cover my whole childhood in a short blog writing, but I will try to hit a few of the things I remember.
My friend Mary Jo reminded me that I was boy crazy when I was younger (think she may have been too:). My friends were astonished when they thought I was that way since the fourth grade but I think it was since the age of 4. My parents' relationship with each other was not the best and I think I longed for that perfect person to meet my needs.
I will be seeing my extended family this weekend and it is amazing we are all speaking to each other when I think of the drama in our home growing up. It was often a free-for-all when my Dad wasn't there. We would chase each other around the table, throw shoes at each other, taunt each other...I guess some of that is normal?
Steve, the youngest, vividly remembers us threatening to throw him down the laundry shoot. It was a chair-opening type, just big enough for a small kid to slide through if dropped. We never actually did it. We also fought over trying to clean up the house and who had control of the television set. If we girls did get in the mood to clean, we nagged and pestered the boys to start picking up after themselves, which never happened and only further annoyed them.
When I left the house, I seemed like a different person. I remember climbing up our weeping willow tree and asking God to make me normal. The jury is still out on that one:). I usually felt I fit in okay except during those difficult adolescent times. A big turning point for me was when Scott R. decided he liked me better than my popular friend. The relationship, mainly centered on discussing the Batman series, didn't last long, but it gave me confidence.
In high school,I was neither in the popular group nor the left out group. I had to work so I found my first job, after babysitting and snow shoveling, at Grant's dime store. I also enjoyed being in debate, a drama club, math club for awhile (mainly to meet a boy, of course).
My high school counselor felt I had the potential for college. I was third in my family and the first to consider it at that time. With my Dad's strong urging to try something he regretted not doing, I headed to the then WSU - Eau Claire. Now I live about an hour or two from there.
That's it for tonight. Thanks Ruth for getting me started again.