If you are able to take criticism with a grain of salt, you are definitely a more mature person than me.
Recently, I had some criticism directed at me and it was given anonymously, which I consider low and somewhat cowardly. Anyway, my first response was to be tearful, defensive and just basically upset. I wanted to give up on the venture though I am not a quitter by nature. I hardly even wanted to talk about it. People who know me know that things are serious when I am too quiet:). I also basically feel I am getting a little too old to be in training of any sort - or to spend my life trying to please everyone. I vented to Tom and a couple of people and asked for prayer.
The Bible says a wise person is willing to learn. A fool is not.
So...I sifted through the comments and realized there was some truth in parts of it. I didn't think it was characteristic of me for the most part but saw how it could be perceived that way based on the situation in which the person viewed me. So I resolved to do better. I purposely made some changes and think I am improving.
So I have not totally grown up yet. Who has?
It would be so much better if as a rule, people would come to each other once they calm down and say things in a helpful, loving way. I am not always capable of doing that either. So in the meantime: Take the criticism. Process. Learn and hopefully forgive and move on. Not quite a grain of salt but progress anyway.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Surviving the Storms: Real Ones
We were watching "Storm Stories" tonight and pictures were shown of the mobile home park in Andover, Kansas in the 90's when we lived in the area. We didn't live in the park but two ladies, Betty and ?, walked out of their homes with the clothes on their backs. That was the last they would see of their homes and their possessions. It was especially sad for Betty because she was a great seamstress and made all of her own things so they were really irreplaceable. They were from our church and walked over to other friends from the church. While they all sat in the basement of that home, the Mendoza's home above the basement was also carried away.
They were all thankful to be safe but 19 people did lose their lives.
Even though the tornado touched down within a mile or two of us, our main remembrance of it is crouching down under the couch in the basement of our tri-level house with our young kids at the time, wondering if we were better off there or under the shelf in the toy closet of the basement.
We weren't quite as fortunate when the hailstorm hit the Chilton to Manitowac area. Katie was returning from her Spring semester from college. She came home to see a home that looked like it had been fired upon by a BB gun all across the front. Our bay window and roof were destroyed and glass shattered throughout the house from all of our front windows. The roof was also shot (but we were going to need one soon anyway).
I was working at school about a half hour away when the sky got very dark and the storm hit. Tom and our little black Cocker, Sadie, headed to the basement. Sadie ran back up but Tom knew not to go up after her (She was fine.). I happened to be subbing for another teacher that afternoon when Tom called. I headed home as soon as possible but it took more than an hour as the police were keeping traffic to a minimum in the area.
A lot of people needed repairs but no one was hurt. Tom called Bob Berres, our friend in construction, right away which put us to the front of the list for repairs. Our insurance company was great, covering our damages well, even replacing the dining room floor, which had hidden glass that came to the surface and ruined it months later. Our friends from Kansas had given us a special clock when we moved to Wisconsin, and it hung without breaking in our living room where everything else had shattered, so we all thought that was great.
So we survived just fine. I think those were a lot easier than some of the emotional ones we have somehow endured:).
They were all thankful to be safe but 19 people did lose their lives.
Even though the tornado touched down within a mile or two of us, our main remembrance of it is crouching down under the couch in the basement of our tri-level house with our young kids at the time, wondering if we were better off there or under the shelf in the toy closet of the basement.
We weren't quite as fortunate when the hailstorm hit the Chilton to Manitowac area. Katie was returning from her Spring semester from college. She came home to see a home that looked like it had been fired upon by a BB gun all across the front. Our bay window and roof were destroyed and glass shattered throughout the house from all of our front windows. The roof was also shot (but we were going to need one soon anyway).
I was working at school about a half hour away when the sky got very dark and the storm hit. Tom and our little black Cocker, Sadie, headed to the basement. Sadie ran back up but Tom knew not to go up after her (She was fine.). I happened to be subbing for another teacher that afternoon when Tom called. I headed home as soon as possible but it took more than an hour as the police were keeping traffic to a minimum in the area.
A lot of people needed repairs but no one was hurt. Tom called Bob Berres, our friend in construction, right away which put us to the front of the list for repairs. Our insurance company was great, covering our damages well, even replacing the dining room floor, which had hidden glass that came to the surface and ruined it months later. Our friends from Kansas had given us a special clock when we moved to Wisconsin, and it hung without breaking in our living room where everything else had shattered, so we all thought that was great.
So we survived just fine. I think those were a lot easier than some of the emotional ones we have somehow endured:).
Thursday, December 30, 2010
2010: Finishing 'er Up
So many changes in our lives this last year and we are about to enter another year with some uncertainties as is common to all of us. We have had job changes, a location change, and friendship adjustments and additions.
As most of you know, we left St.Marys, PA around mid year. Tom was a census crew leader after finishing up at with his pastoral position there. We had a few months before he started his chaplaincy residency position here. It was a rough move for me, even though I looked forward to being nearer to our son and family and friends.
I knew I would need to make new friends, and thankfully, as this year comes to a close, I know I have made several.
It's nice to be back in Wisconsin and we had a better than average summer and fall, butwith winter upon us again, we are sorely tempted to move south and west when Tom completes his residency. But I cannot bear to think of starting afresh again, so I will table that thought for now.
After some time, we have found a couple of small groups to be in, some volunteer opportunities and of course, I have found a part time job with Weight Watchers, and am beginning to develop some fun friendships there. Tom has been enjoying his work as a chaplain and there seems to be a good spirit among his team. We also had some outgoing next door neighbors, who welcomed us enthusiastically. They have bought a home not far from here but we miss seeing them regularly. And then there's our sometimes calm/sometimes feisty Shih-tzu Sasha, who I teasingly say was my only friend besides Tom in the immediate area when we moved here. We have also been able to stay in touch with friends throughout Wisconsin, family not too far away, and keep communication going through facebook and some phone calls to and from PA.
So we have just about made it through another year. I have said before that even though we have made a number of moves and we don't understand the how's and why's of some of them, I have always sensed that we have been and are where we are supposed to be - and I am thankful for the friends whe have made at each place we have lived. Now, as the year 2010 ends, I can truthfully say that is true for us here in the La Crosse area too.
As most of you know, we left St.Marys, PA around mid year. Tom was a census crew leader after finishing up at with his pastoral position there. We had a few months before he started his chaplaincy residency position here. It was a rough move for me, even though I looked forward to being nearer to our son and family and friends.
I knew I would need to make new friends, and thankfully, as this year comes to a close, I know I have made several.
It's nice to be back in Wisconsin and we had a better than average summer and fall, butwith winter upon us again, we are sorely tempted to move south and west when Tom completes his residency. But I cannot bear to think of starting afresh again, so I will table that thought for now.
After some time, we have found a couple of small groups to be in, some volunteer opportunities and of course, I have found a part time job with Weight Watchers, and am beginning to develop some fun friendships there. Tom has been enjoying his work as a chaplain and there seems to be a good spirit among his team. We also had some outgoing next door neighbors, who welcomed us enthusiastically. They have bought a home not far from here but we miss seeing them regularly. And then there's our sometimes calm/sometimes feisty Shih-tzu Sasha, who I teasingly say was my only friend besides Tom in the immediate area when we moved here. We have also been able to stay in touch with friends throughout Wisconsin, family not too far away, and keep communication going through facebook and some phone calls to and from PA.
So we have just about made it through another year. I have said before that even though we have made a number of moves and we don't understand the how's and why's of some of them, I have always sensed that we have been and are where we are supposed to be - and I am thankful for the friends whe have made at each place we have lived. Now, as the year 2010 ends, I can truthfully say that is true for us here in the La Crosse area too.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Flipping Over: Black Ice
As I skid to a stop or around the corner because of our recent snowstorm, I am reminded of what started out as a peaceful ride to work several years ago.
I was commuting from Chilton to Plymouth, Wisconsin to teach at St. John's Lutheran School there. We had a staff meeting that day so I was headed in a little earlier than usual. When I came to the stop in Kiel, about half way, in my "93 blue gray Taurus, I remember being thankful that it had been a fairly calm winter. Little did I know...
Ten or fifteen minutes later, I was turning the last little curve on my way to school. A car or two passed facing me. Within a few seconds, my car slipped over the yellow line. As I did what I could to maneuver it back to my side of the road, I saw a post and hoped I wouldn't hit it.
The next thing I knew I was upside down in my car off the road to the side. I later found out that I hit that pole but it wasn't a very sturdy one. Cell phones were more scarce then but I had one because of this very thing. However, our daughter Katie was home from college and I had left it with her that day. (I know. It figures:). I realized the radio was still on so I quickly thought that the horn must work too so I pressed it.
A very nice lady, also a teacher at a nearby public school, came to my aid. She called my school to tell them what happened and the ambulance/police.
The seat belt felt tight on my stomach so I asked if I should release it. Definitely not!
Help came before long. I was able to push back my seat, release my belt and crawl out somehow. The passenger side of the car was caved in and the Taurus was totalled.
Guess what I thought of? Where were those loose dollars that had been on the top of my purse? Where was my other mitten?
The paramedics took my vitals - my blood pressure was high - and asked me where I wanted to be taken. Since I was just a couple of blocks from school, I suggested going there. I calmly called my husband who didn't think it was exactly a calm situation
My principal was a character - great sense of humor. When he saw me walk by with my book bag, now filled with a few remnants of glass from my windshield, he said he thought he was seeing an angel.
I taught that day. I teased my principal, saying he walked by once in awhile just to see if I was still standing. I mainly worked mornings so it wasn't a long day.
Tom picked me up later and we went to the junk yard to clear out my things - and to take a picture of me in front of the car. I doubt anyone would have survived in the passenger seat.
Since that time, I have been driving my '99 tan Escort which I hope to trade in for a blue gray Focus - probably when it dies.
I was commuting from Chilton to Plymouth, Wisconsin to teach at St. John's Lutheran School there. We had a staff meeting that day so I was headed in a little earlier than usual. When I came to the stop in Kiel, about half way, in my "93 blue gray Taurus, I remember being thankful that it had been a fairly calm winter. Little did I know...
Ten or fifteen minutes later, I was turning the last little curve on my way to school. A car or two passed facing me. Within a few seconds, my car slipped over the yellow line. As I did what I could to maneuver it back to my side of the road, I saw a post and hoped I wouldn't hit it.
The next thing I knew I was upside down in my car off the road to the side. I later found out that I hit that pole but it wasn't a very sturdy one. Cell phones were more scarce then but I had one because of this very thing. However, our daughter Katie was home from college and I had left it with her that day. (I know. It figures:). I realized the radio was still on so I quickly thought that the horn must work too so I pressed it.
A very nice lady, also a teacher at a nearby public school, came to my aid. She called my school to tell them what happened and the ambulance/police.
The seat belt felt tight on my stomach so I asked if I should release it. Definitely not!
Help came before long. I was able to push back my seat, release my belt and crawl out somehow. The passenger side of the car was caved in and the Taurus was totalled.
Guess what I thought of? Where were those loose dollars that had been on the top of my purse? Where was my other mitten?
The paramedics took my vitals - my blood pressure was high - and asked me where I wanted to be taken. Since I was just a couple of blocks from school, I suggested going there. I calmly called my husband who didn't think it was exactly a calm situation
My principal was a character - great sense of humor. When he saw me walk by with my book bag, now filled with a few remnants of glass from my windshield, he said he thought he was seeing an angel.
I taught that day. I teased my principal, saying he walked by once in awhile just to see if I was still standing. I mainly worked mornings so it wasn't a long day.
Tom picked me up later and we went to the junk yard to clear out my things - and to take a picture of me in front of the car. I doubt anyone would have survived in the passenger seat.
Since that time, I have been driving my '99 tan Escort which I hope to trade in for a blue gray Focus - probably when it dies.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Christmas: WHY?!!!
A friend (thanks Ruth) gave me a nudge last night to blog again. I have been busy, which is good and healthy for me, but have not had time or inspiration to blog. Here goes:
Why would Jesus come down to earth as a baby? I heard the illustration again recently of a boy who would have to be an ant to understand his beloved ant colony. Small in comparison but a thought. Why would he choose a humble birth - a homeless kind of setting? Why be born of a virgin and cause embarrassment to her betrothed?
Why grow up like us with temptations, human obstacles, betrayal, rejection and loneliness?
There were some good things about being here. He had some not so always faithful fishermen friends and a following of caring women who believed He was extraordinary.
He did some awesome miracles. By the way I like to reserve the word AWESOME for Him alone.) Why be so misunderstood to the point of death and crucifixion?
BECAUSE HE VALUED US!! He was willing and eager to do this all because a perfect sacrifice had to be given to satisfy His innate Holiness. No other animal or human could qualify. Only His blood sacrifice could pay for my sins and yours. Only His unconditional love could give us a glimpse of how much He cared! Mysterious (way beyond figuring out)! Incomprehensible! Somewhat Unbelievable (yet He allows us to choose to believe it and begin an intimate relationship with Him)!
The ultimate Creative act, but isn't that what we can and should expect from our awesome Creator!
Am I a spiritual giant who has figured this all out or who lives in the victory everyday as I realize the ramifications of this great love and this defining Life in history? Certainly not.
But I praise and glorify Him for doing it in spite of my normal human frailty. After all, He really does understand what it is like to be one of us.
Why would Jesus come down to earth as a baby? I heard the illustration again recently of a boy who would have to be an ant to understand his beloved ant colony. Small in comparison but a thought. Why would he choose a humble birth - a homeless kind of setting? Why be born of a virgin and cause embarrassment to her betrothed?
Why grow up like us with temptations, human obstacles, betrayal, rejection and loneliness?
There were some good things about being here. He had some not so always faithful fishermen friends and a following of caring women who believed He was extraordinary.
He did some awesome miracles. By the way I like to reserve the word AWESOME for Him alone.) Why be so misunderstood to the point of death and crucifixion?
BECAUSE HE VALUED US!! He was willing and eager to do this all because a perfect sacrifice had to be given to satisfy His innate Holiness. No other animal or human could qualify. Only His blood sacrifice could pay for my sins and yours. Only His unconditional love could give us a glimpse of how much He cared! Mysterious (way beyond figuring out)! Incomprehensible! Somewhat Unbelievable (yet He allows us to choose to believe it and begin an intimate relationship with Him)!
The ultimate Creative act, but isn't that what we can and should expect from our awesome Creator!
Am I a spiritual giant who has figured this all out or who lives in the victory everyday as I realize the ramifications of this great love and this defining Life in history? Certainly not.
But I praise and glorify Him for doing it in spite of my normal human frailty. After all, He really does understand what it is like to be one of us.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Not in Control: Never Really Was
This sounds like something Dr. Phil might say. I don't watch him very often, but of course he says: "How is that working for you?"
I have spent a great deal of time in my life frustrated with the "realization" (in my mind) that I could do a lot better job than others do at controlling their lives. Sometimes it is real obvious destructive behavior or something very blatantly not good for them. I have found that even in these more extreme cases, my strong judgments, opinions or advice have been of very little help in resolving the problem.
Now, I am not against parents "owning their children's very breath until they are 18" or so, as Judge Judy says. We have a strong responsibility as parents to do our level best to first of all model and then train our children in the things we really believe are in their best interests.
But I am learning the value of "shutting up" with people, praying for wisdom for them and for myself, and leaving them to their thought out choices. I still fret, vent and blow it at times, but I do find that overall, it works pretty well for me and for them. The people who have helped me most have listened, loved me and mainly supported me. With their backing, I eventually wrestle through to wanting to do my best to do the right thing. It sounds simple and uncomplicated, but of course, it is not.
"Love wins", as a new friend said to me recently. I am not perfect so I am sure it will help me if they will hopefully give me the same grace, love and space in return.
In the meantime, I found a great verse the other day: "Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:16). At least one Friend promises to give me that if I turn to Him.
I have spent a great deal of time in my life frustrated with the "realization" (in my mind) that I could do a lot better job than others do at controlling their lives. Sometimes it is real obvious destructive behavior or something very blatantly not good for them. I have found that even in these more extreme cases, my strong judgments, opinions or advice have been of very little help in resolving the problem.
Now, I am not against parents "owning their children's very breath until they are 18" or so, as Judge Judy says. We have a strong responsibility as parents to do our level best to first of all model and then train our children in the things we really believe are in their best interests.
But I am learning the value of "shutting up" with people, praying for wisdom for them and for myself, and leaving them to their thought out choices. I still fret, vent and blow it at times, but I do find that overall, it works pretty well for me and for them. The people who have helped me most have listened, loved me and mainly supported me. With their backing, I eventually wrestle through to wanting to do my best to do the right thing. It sounds simple and uncomplicated, but of course, it is not.
"Love wins", as a new friend said to me recently. I am not perfect so I am sure it will help me if they will hopefully give me the same grace, love and space in return.
In the meantime, I found a great verse the other day: "Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:16). At least one Friend promises to give me that if I turn to Him.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Peace: Precious But Fleeting
It is so hard to feel at peace sometimes. We strive for it and it feels illusive.
One area of our lives seems okay and then another one is "sticking out" and making it hard to attain and retain the peace we desire.
I think I am finally at peace about our move. I went through some depression this time with another transition in our lives, even though I am thankful Tom has a job and is working in an area well suited to him. We are closer to our son Daniel and other family and friends.
It took us awhile to find a church but we have finally settled on one. We are starting to feel that some acquaintances are becoming friends. Tom is adjusting somewhat to the four or five overnights a month though part of that will be watching his schedule and not doing as many extra things as he would like.
I of course have been going through another challenge as well. Even though I worked for Weight Watchers three years ago, some aspects of the training and emphases have changed. I am still pulling things together as they train and retrain me. I have met some nice and helpful people through that as well.
Today, I am at peace about our move. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?:). I guess it is good to appreciate it while I have it.
One area of our lives seems okay and then another one is "sticking out" and making it hard to attain and retain the peace we desire.
I think I am finally at peace about our move. I went through some depression this time with another transition in our lives, even though I am thankful Tom has a job and is working in an area well suited to him. We are closer to our son Daniel and other family and friends.
It took us awhile to find a church but we have finally settled on one. We are starting to feel that some acquaintances are becoming friends. Tom is adjusting somewhat to the four or five overnights a month though part of that will be watching his schedule and not doing as many extra things as he would like.
I of course have been going through another challenge as well. Even though I worked for Weight Watchers three years ago, some aspects of the training and emphases have changed. I am still pulling things together as they train and retrain me. I have met some nice and helpful people through that as well.
Today, I am at peace about our move. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?:). I guess it is good to appreciate it while I have it.
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